Is it ever enough?

Today we met with Robbie's pre-school group. It started out awkward... it was obvious that many of the kids had grown up through the school because the parents had formed "cliques". Even in high school, I hated clicks. I chose then, as I choose now, not to take part in the "cliques" behavior. Robbie witnessed this.

We walked up and one of the moms - from the "clique" made eye contact with me, so I said "hi". I had met her previously at the beach and I knew that her little girl was going to be in Robbie's class. She quickly said "hi" and withdrew her gaze from me back to her group. I continued walking and found a place on the grass where I could spread a blanket out for Alyssa. I sat down and did my anti-social thing. Not by choice so much this time, but because everyone else showed no interest in talking to me... or my son! Robbie went to play on the play ground and returned a few minutes later asking if I'd go play with him.

I explained to him that we were there for him to meet his new classmates and that he needs to play with them, not me. So I pointed out a few of the kids he had met at the beach and suggested he go and reintroduce himself. He told me "no thank you, I will sit here and wait for them to talk to me".

So, I was speechless. Of course, he is mimicing my behavior. How am I supposed to encourage him to meet new friends when I'm not making an effort either. So, I made an effort. I introduced myself to a few of the moms. Robbie, on the otherhand, didn't care to meet any of the kids as I introduced him to them. Of course, the other kids were not very welcoming as they already had their own friends. Thankfully, he found Thomas. We met Thomas at the beach. He is a very outgoing 4 year old that doesn't care if you are shy or not, he will take you along for the ride. Robbie quickly fell into friendship with him and played in the "in" crowd.

I, am still against "cliques" and will not ever fit in with many of the moms. But, there are a select few that I enjoyed talking to.

I'd also like to include that Robbie got in trouble at the park... which is what prompted our exit. I'm not sure what happened, but all I saw was Robbie pushing a girl (daughter of the mother that snuffed me) - the girl was standing at the top of the slide. I corrected Robbie, reminding him we don't push (the girl was pushing too... but not my place). Robbie continued (can't blame him), so I pulled him away and gave him a warning that if he couldn't play nicely we were leaving. He cried from then until half way home (about 20 minutes).

Later I find, that she hit him. I explained to him that I understood why he was so upset. That I was proud of him for not allowing her to do that to him, but it still wasn't nice to push. That the little girl could have fallen down the slide and it's important that we don't hurt others - even if they hurt us first.

It's a hard lesson and a hard one to teach (especially when I wanted to to push the mom!). But helping him handle situations like this are the reason he is going to preschool.

So, today I stepped out of my box again... and my son made me socialize more than I cared it. Setting a good example for him is going to kill me... I just hope it's enough.