I'm not ready!

Today I had my first semi-painful contraction. I was in the middle of eating lunch. I haven't had one since, but it definately caught my attention. It started me thinking that I'm not ready for her to be here yet. Yes, I'm ready to have her out of me... but is there a place of limbo that she can keep for a bit until I'm ready?

We haven't yet thought about what we are going to do if I start to go into labor while Kasey is at work. I can't currently drive myself... and if I'm in labor, I certainly can't drive myself.

Then there's Robbie. The day time is his time. How is he going to react to having to drop everything because his baby sister has decided it's her time?

And me, I haven't figured out what I need to take... clothes for coming home (me and baby), I haven't taken the car seat out to be sure it's still working properly. Yes, she has a room - but there's nothing covering her window and it gets cold in there!

Oh... and the biggest of all - we don't have a name for her. We even spent a night talking about it the other day. It was a several hour converstation, throwing out names and for the most part, shooting them all down. Several hours for us is a long time to talk about something we have avoided for almost 9 months. And we aren't really the type of people to make a split decision on the spot. Certainly Kasey isn't... and I'd hate to make a rash decision that this child has to live with.

Anyhow, I just started feeling a little more anxiety around an event that is already overflowing with stress. Of course, am I on my way upstairs to prepare a bag for me to take to the hospital? No. Instead I think I will play bean bags with Robbie. It's much more fun.